That Motherfucker fOREVERMAN

Free Download: fOREVERMAN & TAMPAWICKED LIVE 9/11/11

2011-09-13T12:06:00.000-04:00

This is a bootleg audience recording from Tammany Hall on 9/11/11.

It's a one-hour long mp3.

The first half is Yours Truly, the second half is my homie J-10 of TAMPA WICKED.

Sound quality is kinda sketchy- I'd rate it a Bminus- a little overmodulated when the bass hits, but the vocals are pretty crisp, and it's the only record of this performance that I know of.

I decided to share it with you fucks.

Enjoy.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD!

Free Download: Bootleg Quality Improv Jam: fOREVERMAN & THE MISTAKE

2011-08-27T14:05:00.000-04:00

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

So, last night I went out to this Open Mic on Long Island.
Full backline at this place- guitar, bass, drums... as well as musicians willing to play those instruments.
We put together a rag-tag, on-the-spot band called "The Mistake", & signed up to perform.
All the music was completely improvised, none of the musicians have played together before.
There are no pre-recorded instrumentals or back-up vocals.
It was a Sink or Swim situation... and I feel like we Floated, for the most part.
Some dude in the back of the room recorded it on his phone & emailed it to me this morning.
The quality is probably around a C-, but the performance itself was quite interesting- though not without its rough patches & a few false starts.
If you want to check it out:

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

I heckled so many idiots, I lost my voice.

2011-08-26T10:54:00.000-04:00

At the Gathering Of The Juggalos 2011:

fOREVERMAN Covers ESHAM. (LIVE BOOTLEG- FREE DOWNLOAD)

2011-07-24T15:50:00.001-04:00

Hey guys!

Sorry I've been slacking on the ol' blog...

Been working on some new shit, performing, trolling, dicking around...

kinda got sidetracked for a minute....

Anywho- I've been fucking around with real musicians that can actually play instruments...

Here's a little clip from our set last night...

We decided to rock out on an old Esham jam-

"COMERICA"-

fucking classic...

The audio was captured. I have obtained it.

It's freely downloadable, but keep in mind, it's BOOTLEG QUALITY.

Fuck your eardrums.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

or copy & paste this URL:

http://www.mediafire.com/?9fd3rxmkhsl14i9

Download MP3 of EPIC Friday The 13th Jam Session Right Here

2011-05-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

http://www.mediafire.com/?c4d6dvkwq20gnhb

Bootleg Recording of the Jam Session that unfolded last night at Fadeley's FRIDAY THE 13TH ZOMBIE JAM.

This clip features vocals by Sargon, fOREVERMAN, & KJ, in that order.

Drums & Guitar provided by Mikey & Bobby of IMPACT HAZARD, respectively.

Bass by this dude Steve with a bucket on his head.

Background Vocals provided by some retarded drunk bitch that sounded like shit & almost got her ass kicked for spraying motherfuckers with a water gun full of kool-aid.

And I think some dude had a calliope?

Good times... This is what making music is all about.

http://www.mediafire.com/?c4d6dvkwq20gnhb

Fun With The Christian Coalition.

2011-05-12T12:07:00.000-04:00

Firstly, I would like to point out that I *don't condone this type of destructive & ignorant behavior, I had nothing to do with this alleged raid in any fashion, nor do I know who started it, or where it originated.

Secondly, I would like to share the HiJinx with anyone that missed the fun.

Last Night Around 1:00 AM, the "Frequently Asked Questions" page of the Christian Coalitions Official Website was apparently hacked. I spent my night refreshing the page & giggling like a faggot at all the horrible shit that got posted there. The page has since been fixed, but luckily for you I screencapped it before I passed out.

This is a link to how the page looks usually:

http://www.cc.org/faq

And this is what the "Frequently Asked Questions" page on the Christian Coalition's Official We/b/site looked like on 5/12/11 at 4:30 AM E.S.T.

For the high-quality version, click the picture below, or this link:

http://imgur.com/osO2Z

You're Welcome!

-fM

Do you guys like optical illusions?

2011-04-07T20:05:00.001-04:00

80085 or :) ?

Live At Some Dive, with Mikey The Drummer!

2011-03-12T12:54:00.000-05:00

Puginas! (Cuntkins?)

2011-01-31T01:34:00.001-05:00

I love that the one on the right has sideburns.

If I was a graph, this would be my equation.

2011-01-25T04:34:00.001-05:00

Sorry if you thought that was some kind of innuendo.

You fucking nerd.

My new tattoo- Piggy Tail Sausage:

2011-01-19T21:58:00.000-05:00

Facsimile Of My Underwear Part 2

2011-01-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

This is what my Simpsons boxers would look like if I faxed them over to you.

If I could Fax you my underwear...

2011-01-08T03:26:00.001-05:00

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk, Bitches: Alienating my Twitter Followers with Stoogisms.

2011-01-03T05:54:00.000-05:00

I woke up on New Years Day to the miraculous discovery that American Movie Classics was playing an all-day, all-night marathon of The Three Stooges.

I thought it would be funny to live-tweet about it while I was watching it... when I tuned in, they were showing a Curly episode. My initial plan was to tweet about the Stooges until they showed a Shemp episode, at which point I would turn the TV off & do something worthwhile with myself.

As it turns out, AMC played 21 straight hours of Shemp-Free Stooges.

So I wound up sitting in front of the TV for the better part of a 21 and a 1/2 hour stretch of time, from 11 AM to 8:30 AM the next day, posting tweets about what I was watching, with the exception of the hour I left the crib to have a fancy dinner, and the 3 hours where I seem to have blacked out around 4 or 5 in the morning.

Most people thought it was stupid & that I'm a loser.

A lot of people unfollowed, muted, & blocked me.

Some people thought it was very funny, and I'm one of them.

In case you missed it, I took screenshots of the whole thing.

If you give a shit about continuity, start from the bottom, and scroll UP.

Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo, Ya Knuckleheads!

Peace!

-fM

The best stations for FM iPod transmitters in Suffolk & Nassau

2010-12-29T17:50:00.002-05:00

Hey guys... I just got a new fm transmitter for the car... In order to get the best performance possible out of it, I went & found a list of all the local FM stations, mathematically calculated the largest portions of dead air on Long Islands airwaves & determined the median dead spot between all the transmitting frequencies.

I discovered the best frequencies to tune it to are as follows:

-92.6

-93.4

-99.5

-105.7

-any frequency below 88.7

-any frequency above 107.1

So there ya have it... Just wanted to put this info up in case someone else might find it useful.

I personally plan on busting my transmitter open & soldering an extension onto the antenna wire to eliminate interference from commercial stations entirely.

(Don't tell the FCC)

Peeeaaace!

-fM

Real Nerd Shit- iOS4 Proximity Sensor Fix- You need it, I found it.

2010-11-04T04:06:00.000-04:00

I don't usually use my blog to deal with tech-type-stuff, or to help anyone in any way.
Today, I thought I'd change that... Just for today...

This post really only concerns seasoned iPhone jailbreakers who are having issues with their 4.1 upgrade... if that isn't you, you probably just want to bounce up out of here.
This is apparently a pretty widespread problem, and I seem to have found the fix... I'll warn you now, it's fairly labor intensive, and it requires a pretty good grasp of the inner workings of your root folder, or just plenty of free time to google the steps you need to take. I'm not going to break down HOW to do it, just WHAT you need to do.
I'm running iOS 4.1 on my Iphone 3G- it was running slow when I first upgraded, and I had an issue with the proximity sensor not recognizing when the phone was away from my ear during a call- basically, the screen would go black when I was on a call, and not light back up when I took the phone away from my face- which meant I couldn't hang up on anyone, and I'm ALL ABOUT hanging up on people, so I had to correct this IMMEDIATELY.
I heard rumors that the proximity sensor issue & speed issue could be resolved by a factory restore AS A NEW PHONE, but I didn't want to lose all my contacts & what-have-you-
Here's how I got everything running smoothly...
I backed up my contacts, calendars, safari bookmarks, & KEYCHAINS (remember that for later) manually via SSH (i use Fugu), cooked my own custom jailbreak firmware with PWNAGETOOL, restored as a new phone with my cooked OS, and the phone seemed to be running faster than it EVER did running 3.1.3. (Battery life also improved). Then I SSH'd into the phone to put back all the files I saved earlier.
I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, everything worked fine, until I restored my KEYCHAINS files, at which point the proximity sensor issue started up again.
I was forced to factory restore AGAIN, with my same cooked firmware... this time I replaced only my Contacts, Calendars, & Bookmarks, but NOT MY KEYCHAINS.
I just re-entered that info manually, which was a pain, but it somehow did the trick, as I am now running a fully functional jailbroken version of iOS4 on an iPhone 3G with NO ISSUES WHATSOEVER regarding speed, battery life, or proximity sensor issues.
AT&T's service still sucks though.
=)

Nerdy enough for ya, guys?

New BizNizz Card!

2010-10-21T11:40:00.000-04:00

I'm officially out of "don't become another zombie" cards, so I had to print up a new batch.

I considered using one of the many photos of my phone number scrawled on bathroom walls as the new business card, but decided to go with this slick little design.

"authorized jobber", LoL.

Next fOREVERMAN performance: 10/16 in NY w/ AFTERBIRTH, MYZERY, A.D.A.M. & MORE

2010-10-05T23:04:00.002-04:00

Gay Juggalos Hitting On Dudes at the Myzery & fOREVERMAN show last week.

2010-09-30T12:37:00.000-04:00

This video starts out with Myzery signing an autograph for Mikey Lac.
It then continues with footage of my super-gay homies (BRYNESTEIN, WILDO, & ALFRED) hitting on dudes.
Followed by a short clip of me serenading all 3 of Bonnie's holes.
Concluded by a punch in the cunt.
Enjoy.

Voicemail From My Dad

2010-09-30T00:34:00.000-04:00

Google voicemail transcription ain't all it's cracked up to be.

fOREVERMAN Live With MYZERY & MORE!

2010-09-22T17:46:00.000-04:00

My Trip To The Gathering Of The Juggalos 2010

2010-09-05T03:45:00.000-04:00

This is a collection of videos that I shot at The Gathering of The Juggalos 2010.

Me & My Homie Ian (occasionally referred to as "Pissface" or the "The Ref") left for Southern Illinois from New York. As we were driving through Pennsylvania, we stopped at a gas station next door to a porn store & immediately recognized it as the porn store from the videos of our trip to GOTJ in 2007 (viewable HERE), where we met a random juggalo named Bill. We decided to go in & see if Bill still worked there:

Bill wasn't in there, so we just perused the magazine racks, & I wound up buying a 3-pack containing an issue of "Plumpers", some censored vintage Euro-Porn, and an issue of "Swank" with Ron Jeremy on the cover, which was DOPE, because Ron Jeremy was at The Gathering, & I got him to autograph it for me. Evidence at the jump.

Once at The Gathering grounds, we wound up waiting on a long-ass line of cars.

But I wasn't trying to wait to see all my homies, so I went walking around tracking them down.

Mission Accomplished! Homies found!

At the front of the line, I found these MassHoles!

Walking back to the truck, saw this guy in ladies underwear:

Finally made it (snuck?) onto our campsite, set up shop & peeped the scene:

Once those honkies got their giant american flag on lock, it was time to admire the view:

Campsite set up & honkies holding it down, Me and Mark went for a stroll through the grounds, where we found these fools:

And these fools:

And especially, these fools:

Then I went on a Hay Ride with THESE fools:

Back at the campsite, acting like fools ourselves, we offered this random dude a free beer if he dumped a can of dee-licious Faygo Brand Soda-Pop down his pants.

The video should have been longer, but the motherfucker pulled his dick out & i didn't want to put that on YouTube.

At The Honkie Hangout in Scrub Central, we were holding it down, General-Store-Style, with everything you needed: Cold Beer, Blunts, Smokes, Snacks, T-Shirts... The shit was like a 7-11... we even had Hot Dogs yo!

Everyone knows Hot Dogs make you shit your ass, so it was time for a dramatic trip to the sick toilets:

These guys are probably my favorite drunk retards of the weekend.

They were just sitting at a picnic table, serenading girls with stupid little songs about their boobs.

Incredible.

Later on that night, I was sitting at the campsite talking shit with a megaphone, when some fools came up and apparently recorded my shit-talk.

The video showed up in an article on xlr8r.com and many people have been getting their panties in a bunch about it.

All I have to say is that if you don't like my opinions, form your own.

Some folks have been noticing that I seem to have a distaste for the scene, and wondering why I stick around, and bother going to The Gathering even though I don't get booked to perform anymore.

My answer is always "Friends & Memories".

This year was my TENTH year in attendance.

In ten years, I've made some great friends, and we've created a lot of great memories.

The Gathering is the one time of the year we can all get together, catch up, and get stupid.

So when I snagged some stage time at AREA 17, I only promoted it to the motherfuckers on the campsite, and wound up with a tent full of my favorite folks in the world.

Can we talk about CLUB LOTUS for a minute?

When I heard that most of the Club Chaos crew was not going to GOTJ this year, it was some shocking news. Charlie & them have been holding it down for years. Club Chaos was like an institution.

Rather than let the memory die, SHADOW brought the gear and held it down himself in the same spot Club Chaos usually resides, & rechristened it CLUB LOTUS.

When I say he held it down, he HELD IT DOWN, with live musical performances, debauchery, and of course, WRESTLING:

You may recognize the "referee" in this match as my longtime homie "Ian Face".

After wrestling, me & Face went to get a cheeseburger, or something, and wound up at this infected sinkhole:

A word of advice:

Never fall asleep with your shoes on.

Not Once, Not Never. Don't Do It.

Here's Why:

Here's another reason:

And possibly the best reason not to pass out at GOTJ:

You might wake up wearing a fOREVERMAN t-shirt like Mr. Voorheez here:

At least Cid had the foresight to take his shoes off, so we woke him up gingerly, with a homo-erotic head-rubbing with my bloody hand.

We are now reaching the end of the Gathering... Monday morning...

Everyone is packing their shit up, while Brock Lee dances to Nelly Furtado...

And Katy Perry...

And... Uh... Veruca Salt... Of Course...

The end of the Gathering is always marked with hugs, tears.... and garbage.

Mostly garbage.

I left my own personal piece of real estate looking better than I found it.

But this is not my campsite:

Until next year, WHOOP-DEE-DOOP!!

WhoopDeeDoopityDoop!!

In Luv Wit A Stripper

2010-07-06T22:55:00.000-04:00

This is some cameraphone footage of your good homies fOREVERMAN & AFTERBIRTh doing a live drunken rendition of "In This Light" & "3 Holes" performed over the instrumental from T-Pain's "In Love (With A Stripper)".
The sound is pretty shoddy, so I attempted to add captions to the video- but when I watched it, the captions were all types of fucked up, and I don't have the patience to fix it.
So I'm posting it as is.
Enjoy it, or don't.
Peace!

Free Show In Manhattan!

2010-06-25T05:18:00.000-04:00

Here's The Flyer:

Here's the info:

Free Show!

All Ages!

Yippie Museum!

9 Bleecker Street!

Manhattan!

Friday, July 2nd!

This is the NY stop of the HyTownRecords/FTIrecords "Beneath The Concrete" Tour, featuring performances by KryptiK, iNFiNiTTi, Hostile Figures, TNT, Dirty-C, and 5:AM.

This particular show will also feature a one-off solo performance from your good homie fOREVERMAN.

Music kicks off at 6, and will probably run no later than 10!

Get there early!

*Yippie Museum does not serve alcohol of any kind, so bring your own!

;)

Coffee Shop Finger Snapping: FULL VIDEO

2010-05-04T02:22:00.001-04:00

My good friends over at FetalCore Productions put in some serious work filming & editing this shining example of visual media entitled "Coffee Shop Finger Snapping".

It was recorded in various cozy-ass coffee-shops & shit-hole dive-venues, of course.
But that notwithstanding, this here video right here is probably the greatest piece of media that's ever had my name attached to it, which really isn't saying much- but that's why it's so cool that this is so awesome!

So, here's the clip!

Watch it!
Enjoy it!
Share it!

Trouble viewing the embedded video?

CLICK HERE TO WATCH COFFEE SHOP FINGER SNAPPING!

Or visit the NO AFFILIATION account page on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/noaffiliation

This video is available as a free download if you have a Vimeo account (It takes like 2 minutes to set up, & it's free, you cheap-ass!).

Also, for a limited time, if you ask me for a copy of it, I'll burn you out a Full-Quality DVD-R and snail mail it to you.
Seriously, just ask!

Send DVD Requests & ANY FEEDBACK to thatmffm@gmail.com

PEACE!

-That Motherfucker fOREVERMAN!

Sneak Preview Of "Coffee Shop Finger Snappin"

2010-05-01T13:28:00.002-04:00

This is a clip of "Pretty Fuckin Please" from the upcoming free video E.P. "Coffee Shop Finger Snappin", that was put together by the good folks at Fetalcore Productions.

This clip, to me, is fucking incredible, and I think it stands on it's own, apart from the rest of the awesomeness of the "Coffee Shop" collection, so I'm posting it right here, right now, on it's own, before the rest of the footage is released.

As always, Feedback is appreciated!

Here's the clip!!

Enjoy it yo!!!

Off The Wall

2010-04-24T01:04:00.001-04:00

This tag was found on a tablecloth in a classy restaurant? I think this shit's getting a little out of hand.

Off The Wall

2010-04-19T02:53:00.001-04:00

Found in the Ladies Room At Tammany Hall in Woostah, Mass.

Bear Hopping!

2010-04-01T19:40:00.001-04:00

White text, as usual, is some random nut with a poor grasp of grammar
who found my screenname.
Green text, as always, is my fool ass.

Next fOREVERMAN performance: 4/18: Blazed & Confused in Woostah, Mass

2010-04-01T03:33:00.000-04:00

This is a killer lineup,
Worcester is a killer crowd.
I'm hyped as fuck for this shit right here.

Tickets are 13 bucks.

Everyone through the door will receive a FREE limited edition cd
featuring one song from each artist on the bill, including:
My stupid ass, Hy-Town Records, Dead By Wednesday, BeastMaster, Wayne
Da Payne, Walking Dead, Kryptik, Lewn, Bogus Trizzy, Mars, joint
Damage, Bigg Juicy, DJ Slim, KillFuck, SplitFace, TnT, Soulz of
Brutality, Project Red, Acidic, MassMurdraz, & JNuts!

Holy fucking shit, that's a crazy lineup!

Off The Wall

2010-03-25T22:39:00.001-04:00

At what I assume is a shithole full of honkies.

What's the deal?

2010-03-25T11:21:00.000-04:00

People keep asking what's up with the blog, why it hasn't been
updated, etc.
I haven't abandoned it, I just haven't been doing much of anything
worth talking about. I assure you that as soon as I'm interesting, the
blog will be updated.

-fM

Off The Wall

2010-03-10T10:37:00.000-05:00

Pictures From The Birfday Fiasco

2010-03-01T11:56:00.000-05:00

This Is A Collection Of Photographs from my birthday party at RoadRummers.

Most Of These Pics Were Taken By Kelli!

The Ones That Look Like Shit Were Taken On My iPhone!

Setting Up The P.A.

Brando Pours My First Shot Of Green Label

A Toast To Our Lovely & Talented Bartenders!

Nikole And Brando!

WhiskeyFace!

Me And Afterbirth!

Afterbirth!

Me!

Serenading Kristen/Bonnie

Serenading This Chicks Vagina!

Me And Afterbirth!

BEASTMASTER!

MASHIN!

Viking Hat!

A Room Full Of Scumbags!

Shakez!

Angry Jay And Afterbirth!

Darkness Descends!

This Is Right About THe Time The Cops Showed Up.

But Angry Jay Gave No Fucks.

Room's Still Full Of Scumbags!

Joe & Bob Playing Pool!

Elevation!

Double Fisted!

Lauren And Bonnie Dancing To Warren Zevon!

Afterbirth And Me, Late In The Evening!

Googus And Sir Bigs!

T.U!

Nikole Gets a Better View

And Some Friendly Motherfucker Helps Her Keep Her Balance!

The End.

March 5th in Massachusetts

2010-02-24T11:15:00.000-05:00

The next live fOREVERMAN performance is scheduled for FRIDAY, MARCH
5th, 8:00 PM, at YAZ'S PLACE in QUINCY, MASS!

My Birthday Party This Sunday- New Flyer

2010-02-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Kelli for slapping this shit together!

More True Tales From My Inbox- I'm An Asshole

2010-02-17T04:32:00.000-05:00

With a name like "Tent Pitcher", you'd think this chick would have a sense of humor.

True Tales From My Inbox- I'm A Nerd

2010-02-17T01:36:00.000-05:00

This is a useless conversation I had with some stupid bitch from Brooklyn.

My Foot, Your Pussy

2010-02-11T12:47:00.001-05:00

Sweet sentiments from a superstar.

fLYER fOR fOREVERMANS BIRfDAY fIASCO

2010-02-10T20:57:00.001-05:00

Upcoming fOREVERMAN Performances

2010-02-07T11:31:00.001-05:00

Sunday, February 21st:
fOREVERMANS Birfday Fiasco
At Roadrummers in East Meadow, Long Island.
No Cover Charge. 21 and up.
Live performances by fOREVERMAN, Afterbirth, Elevation, BstMstr,
Walking Dead, 50 Dead, and probably more.
Doors open at 7.
Party goes all night.

Friday, March 5th
"Dead Celebrity Show"
At Yaz's Place in Quincy, Massachusetts.
12 dollars to get in.
5 dollars if you dress like a dead celebrity.
21 and up.
Doors open at 7 pm.

Sunday, April 18th
"3rd Annual Blazed & Confused"
At Tammany Hall in Woostah, Mass!
I think it's 12 bucks to get in, and it's an 18 and up show.
Live performances by the HyTown Crew & their homies.

If you have any questions regarding anything at all, get in touch
through
thatmffm@gmail.com

Voicemail Album Supplement

2010-02-03T13:17:00.002-05:00

An mp3 megamix of voicemails that I left for Afterbirth!
45 seconds of flavor!
It's the first song in the music player on the right side of the page.

Download The Voicemail Album

2010-01-30T14:50:00.002-05:00

Click THIS TEXT RIGHT HERE to download "Phoning It In"

This is the non-anticipated follow-up to my most ill-conceived &
disposable album ever.
A collection of sort-of hysterical & very-much scathing &
sloppy-drunken voicemails I received from idiots, dummies, and good
friends.
It also contains 4 "songs" recorded on an iPhone 4-track application.
Two are original compositions.

One is an MC 900 Foot Jesus cover.

One is a Lou Reed cover.

All of them suck.

There is also a brand new, super-abrasive remix of

"Outskirts of Life", which is awesome. Fuck your ears.
Plus! A twenty minute interview that originally appeared on the Original
Geeks Podcast last week.

Who says failure can't be fun?

Beautiful Melodies

2010-01-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

Who the fuck says I'm not a real composer?
Here's a sample of my sheet music.

"Mysogeny in F Major"

10 years ago at a Monkees concert

2010-01-17T13:47:00.001-05:00

I wish I still had it in me to be that chubby & greasy.

Murdering My Ladyfriend

2010-01-13T12:30:00.000-05:00

These pics were taken like 7 or 8 years ago- just found em in a box.
Thought you might dig it.

Next New England Performance

2010-01-13T08:16:00.001-05:00

On April 18th, I will be performing at the 3rd annual BLAZED AND
CONFUSED show, at Tammany Hall in Woostah, Massachusetts, along with
Hy-Town Records, Jason Porter, Dead By Wednesday, Kryptik, Lewn,
Bogus, TNT, Killfuck, Joint Damage, & Bigg Juicy. It's an all ages
show, tickets are 12 bucks.

Googling Myself!

2010-01-12T10:30:00.004-05:00

I plugged my own stupid name into a search engine, and google scoured the worlds interwebs for references to myself-
Most of the results were my own official pages, or links to Eric Clapton videos-
but in the midst of that, I found this fucking gem.
It was posted on VampireFreaks, by a local horrorcore rapper that I used to book on my shows, that NEVER drew a single head (aside from his hypeman), can't spit for shit, uses the studio versions of his songs to rap over at shows (with full vocals in the background), claims NYC while living in Nassau County, glorifies rape, and gets the money to press up his albums from his mom.
This kid talks so much shit, he should flush his face down the toilet.

All I'll say about this is: the internet's a small place, and long island is even smaller.

The Accidental Prank Call

2010-01-06T16:00:00.000-05:00

Earlier Today, my phone rang.
Random (631) Number.
I answered it.
Some guy says "Yo BJ!".
And I'm like "What?".
And he says "Beeeeee Jaaaaaaaay!?".
And I'm like "Are you trying to give me a blowjob, ya fuckin weirdo?".
So he says to me "I'm looking for BJ, and if you ain't him, then I got the wrong number, dick."
So I laughed.
And he hung up.

Barbed Wire 2X4

2010-01-06T01:29:00.000-05:00

This is some shitty cameraphone footage of some bloody guy, Beelzebitch, and myself, pummeling Dammit with a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire around 6 or 7 in the morning after a long night at Club Chaos.
Thought you might kind of enjoy it.

My Biggest Fan

2010-01-03T23:56:00.000-05:00

This is a conversation with some shithead on AIM.

The Pot Calls The Kettle What?

2010-01-02T11:19:00.000-05:00

I get a lot of hatemail, but I was particularly amused by this little gem.
It came from a midwest suburban rapper that added me to his myspace friends list,
who spits about shooting people,
does photo shoots in his moms living room,
lists the Insane Clown Posse and Esham as influences on his profile,
and shamelessly tacked on his faux-blood logo to the end of the message.
He's obviously got a chip on his shoulder, and is in denial of the fact that all the insults he threw at me should have been directed at himself.

Here's the conversation that ensued- Green text is my response, Orange text is his.
We're both assholes, but at least I realize it.

The Most Thoughtful Gift Ever

2009-12-25T22:11:00.000-05:00

My 18 year old sister got me this engraved hip flask. There's already
bourbon in it.

True Tales From My Inbox: "Pray"

2009-12-23T23:26:00.003-05:00

Some ridiculous Motherfucker just sent me this event invite:

True Tales From My Inbox: "You Should Be In Porn"

2009-12-21T00:36:00.000-05:00

This morning I got a message on the ol' myspace page, from some random weirdo, soliciting me to appear in an adult film. This is the conversation that ensued, word for word, atrocious grammar intact. Feel free to act out this exchange as if it were a play.
Names have been changed to prevent publicity.

------------ Original Message ------------

Him: wanna do porn?

Me: Not with you pal.

Him: nope im recruiting for my home girl she has yahoo messenger if u wanna talk to her bout it

Me: Who's your girl, what's she look like, has she had a blood test, who's filming it, and how much does it pay?

Him: My girl [REDACTED] she has yahoo messenger if u wanna talk to her

Me: Yeah, you said that already.

Him: sry i meant to ask if u have yahoo messenger her sn is [REDACTED]

Me: I generally handle business over the phone.
The number's on my page.
Tell her to get at me & we'll hammer something out.

Him: Well she like to handle business via internet till she hires a scretary but she needs money for that i'm just the messenger i'm also guessing cuz she can do an online interview or chat wit cam n pics

Me: Well, I have a lot of shit on my plate, and I can't sit on a computer all day with some chick interviewing for a role in some shitty porn flick.

Him: together the interview will talk 1hr-1hr n 1/2

Me: And it would take 10 minutes on the phone. Tell this bitch to get her shit together.

Him: well if u sent the pics while chatting with her then ya it would take like 30 mins its her first time

Me: I don't have time for that shit. There are pics and videos of me all over the Internet. If you want me in the film, act like a fucking professional & handle your shit properly. No more myspace messages, no instant messages. If I don't hear a human voice on the other end of my phone, I'm not dealing with you kids.

Him: umm its a comapny trying to start up im just helpin in online recruiment i told u where to go if u wanted to get things set up n i understand u have pics n vids online but the company is goin to need nudes cuz its an adult film

Me: It all sounds like bullshit to me.

Him: take a risk

Me: Go fuck yourself.

Him: y??? u could do it for me i was making a simple suggestion

Me: I thought I was pretty clear about this. I'm not fucking with any of this bullshit. I don't know you, I don't owe you shit, I really don't care about being in this alleged film enough to deal with this nonsense, and I'm not sending pictures of my dick to a random yahoo address.
So fuck off & good luck.
-fM

end conversation.

Rock Star Treatment

2009-12-10T15:29:00.002-05:00

This morning, the girl at DunkinDonuts gave me a free coffee with this written on it.
I have no idea how she knows my name, but I think I'll be frequenting that particular shop, if there's free coffee in it for me.
Next time, how about a blowjob instead of a kiss?

Adventures Of Sammyboy #20: "Workin' The Pumps"

2009-12-09T18:43:00.001-05:00

Visit BEEF (from Reflookoo Jambee)'S BLOG for a link back to my blog. http://ughforever.com/

2009-12-07T04:38:00.001-05:00

I'm so stupid sometimes.

Another Eddie Money Shot

2009-12-06T13:47:00.001-05:00

fOREVERMAN & The MoneyMan: Together at last.

2009-12-04T00:37:00.001-05:00

Sammyboy at the Eddie Money show.

2009-12-03T21:28:00.001-05:00

How to contact that nerdy motherfucker fOREVERMAN

2009-12-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of re-organizing the last few days, streamlining my communication tactics.
I just wanted to put up a comprehensive list of all the avenues through which you can contact my dorky technologically-inclined ass.

Not that I think I'm some kind of rock-star or anything, but I'm about as close as you can get to that without a business manager, record label, or PR representative.
There are a LOT of folks out there that I need to keep up with, and the shit just gets tedious sometimes. So hopefully this little list will put any confusion or miscommunications to rest.

-The preferred method of communication is an old-school phone call.
If you have some important information to relay, don't fuck around with internet bullshit, just call me & hammer the shit out.
My number is 631-546-8139.
That is my actual cellphone. If you call it, I'll answer, and we can fuckin talk.
Unless you have a blocked number, in which case I won't answer, and you can blow me.
If you prank call me, and it isn't funny, expect the same ten-fold.

-Don't bother texting me. I won't respond.

-Send an email to thatmffm@gmail.com
All emails get sent directly to my phone, and I do my best to respond to all pertinent communique in a timely fashion.

-My screenname on Google Wave is thatmffm.
I'm still figuring that shit out... haven't even watched the whole demo video yet... but feel free to add me to your contacts.

-My Twitter screenname is @thatmffm.
My tweets are stupid & unfunny.

-My Nimbuzz screenname is thatmffm.
Nimbuzz is apparently some kind of IM aggregator... still figuring it out.

-My Skype screenname is thatmffm.
I don't really use this shit, except through Nimbuzz.

-My Ping screenname is thatmffm.
Anyone with an iPhone can hit me up through here.

-My WhosHere screenname is thatmffm.
This shit is stupid, but I'm on there.

-My iChess/GameKnot screenname is thatmffm.
Hit me up on there to get your ass handed to you in a timeless game of strategy & deception.

-My Youtube screenname is thatmffm.
Videos of myself, my shows, my friends, & my role models.

-My Break! screenname is thatmffm.
Haven't uploaded anything there yet... maybe one day.

-My Reddit screenname is thatmffm.
Yeah, I'm a redditor.

-My BobbaBar screenname is thatmffm.
This shit is totally useless. Don't expect to see much of me there. Although my avatar is kinda cool.

-My Soundclick screenname is fOREVERMAN.
Free downloadable music & whatnot.

-My Fubar/LostCherry/CherryTap screenname is fOREVERMAN.
Sensory overload, this shit. Next to useless to me.

-My Potspace screenname is fOREVERMAN.
Smoke em if ya got em.

-My Myjuggalospace screenname is fOREVERMAN.
I used this mostly for promotion when I was booked at GOTJ, but the interface went all to hell, so fuck it i guess.

-My Myspace account is http://myspace.com/forevermanshits.
If you still get down on the ol' space.

-My Facebook account is registered under "Ron Schroeder".
Yeah, my real name. Want to fight about it?

-My screenname on YIM is fmdeathfunk.
I rarely sign on to that shit though.

-My screenname on AIM/Lifestream is either FMDEATHFUNK or THATMFFM.
The accounts are linked, so hit me up through either one of those if you see me online.

-Leave a Comment on this Blog.

-Use your telepathy.

-If all else fails, contact the Clark County Probation department. They know where to find me.

Hope this helped.

* Edit- Just re-read this post, and goddamn, I'm a fucking dweeb apparently.

Sammyboy #19: "apple pie"

2009-12-01T05:37:00.001-05:00

Fuckin Technology.

2009-11-30T13:04:00.001-05:00

In addition to the lovely & convenient rss feed that this blog offers:
http://thatmffm.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default,
I finally managed to sync it up to my twitter feed, my myspace statuses, my facebook statuses, and my AIM/ Lifestream account.
Whenever there's a new update on THIS page, all those other pages will also update.
Couple that with the fact that this blog is updatable through email from my cellphone telephone device, and I'm somehow a model of nerdy efficiency.
Hopefully it will cut down on the amount of time I spend promoting the stupid shit i do & increase awareness of said stupid shit...
But I assume that it might be annoying to the handful of jerks that are connected to all those pages, so consider this your warning.

Sammyboy #18: "crocodile dundee"

2009-11-29T22:46:00.001-05:00

Sammyboy #17: "introduction to chef hat cat"

2009-11-28T13:11:00.001-05:00

Free Music Downloads!

2009-11-28T03:31:00.000-05:00

CLICK HERE to download a 25 megabyte mp3, encompassing the entire most recent performance by Myself & Afterbirth, at Hell On Earth, November 6th, 2009.

CLICK HERE to download a 100 megabyte zip file containing over 20 mp3's, including Cover songs, Illegal Tracks, Remixes, An Interview, & other random goodies.

The files are hosted through zshare- you DO NOT need an account with them to download the files-
Just click the link i posted, wait for the page to load, close the pop-up ad they hit you with, scroll to the bottom of the page, and click "download now".

Blammo! You got music.
Enjoy, you fuck.

Origin Of Sammyboy

2009-11-27T16:20:00.000-05:00

I probably should have made this post before I started posting up these stupid little Sammyboy Comics...
The Sammyboy character is based on my homeboy Brock-Lee from The infamous Reflookoo Jambee Experience.
These comics are somewhat funnier if you're familiar with his music & twitter feed, which can be found at www.beefandbrock.com and twitter.com/BrockSleezy respectively.

Here's a video of RFJ in action, Sammy is the gumpy shirtless one.

Sammyboy #16: "lil mama"

2009-11-27T13:45:00.000-05:00

Sammyboy #15: "walking the cat"

2009-11-25T18:23:00.001-05:00

Video: Outskirts Of Life: Tribute To GG Allin: Live On Long Island

2009-11-24T23:54:00.000-05:00

Footage of fOREVERMAN (on the left) and Afterbirth (on the right) performing the classic anthem "Outskirts of Life" by GG Allin & The Criminal Quartet, at Hell On Earth in Sound Beach, New York, on November 6th 2009.

Sammyboy Tag

2009-11-24T23:49:00.000-05:00

They're onto you.

Sammyboy #14: "thinkin bout ya"

2009-11-24T19:11:00.000-05:00

Adventures of SammyBoy #13: "Dog Ears"

2009-11-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

fOREVERMAN TAGS

2009-11-22T23:53:00.000-05:00

I "don't" condone this type of behavior, I certainly "don't" endorse
it, and I'm "not" saying thanks to "whoever" did this shit.

You shouldn't litter...

2009-11-22T15:05:00.001-05:00

But at least these guys had a good time.

Adventures of Sammyboy #12: "sara bareilles"

2009-11-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #11: "sir elton"

2009-11-21T09:26:00.001-05:00

Adventures of SammyBoy #10: "kelly clarkson"

2009-11-20T22:43:00.001-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #9: "fine dining"

2009-11-19T20:36:00.000-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #8: "katy perry"

2009-11-19T07:22:00.001-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #7: "boobies"

2009-11-18T11:42:00.001-05:00

Adventures of SammyBoy #6: "shameless"

2009-11-18T08:10:00.000-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #5: "sammys first poop joke"

2009-11-17T23:48:00.001-05:00

Adventures of SammyBoy #4: "evening gown"

2009-11-17T18:02:00.001-05:00

Adventures of SammyBoy #3: "statham"

2009-11-17T13:48:00.001-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy #2: "in line at midnight"

2009-11-17T00:25:00.001-05:00

Adventures of Sammyboy- "short-shorts"

2009-11-16T13:39:00.000-05:00

Click The Strip For Full Quality.

A Lunatic, A Piece of Shit, & A Spiritual Leader

2009-10-31T17:43:00.000-04:00

But which one is which?

Self-Aware Tree

2009-10-29T19:29:00.001-04:00

I mean "TREE!"

Classy Motherfucker

2009-10-23T11:04:00.000-04:00

My Next Tattoo...

2009-10-17T11:16:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking about getting a shitty black-line drawing of an eighth note.
Said eighth note will be emerging from a set of poorly drawn butt-cheeks.
The butt cheeks will be on my bicep, and every time I need to fart, I'll flex my muscle to emphasize the fact that I'm dumb.

A Photographic Study Of The Exterior Of My Refrigerator

2009-10-17T00:09:00.001-04:00

Beautiful Poetry Right Here.

My Refrigerator (interior) "All The Staples Of A Healthy Lifestyle"

2009-10-16T23:34:00.000-04:00

Some bourbon, some ginger ale, an apple, 2 kinds of creamy peanut butter, 4 kinds of beer, tabasco, lime juice, grade b syrup, tobacco, a single ketchup packet, fruit cups & soy beans.

Off The Wall At The Lucky Dog

2009-10-16T03:57:00.001-04:00

Fish, Fat Kid, Creep, & Bumblebee

2009-10-11T17:40:00.001-04:00

Next Performance:

2009-10-09T18:56:00.000-04:00

That's a fucking lineup right there!
You'd be a sucker to miss this one.

Suffolk's Finest, Hard At Work

2009-10-09T11:21:00.000-04:00

Keeping the Streets safe, and the Doughnuts eaten.

fOREVERHAM Lincoln

2009-10-07T01:50:00.001-04:00

Getting Kicked Off The Stage With Afterbirth Last Week...

2009-10-07T00:33:00.000-04:00

Got Me All Nostalgic...
I went & tracked down this picture of myself & Joe Brown, from the night that we got kicked off of our FIRST stage ever.
Maggie's in West Babylon.
That place was a shithole.
And I'm pretty sure the "stage" was usually a dining room, but they replaced the tables with a P.A. system for the night.