Thursday, September 30, 2010

Gay Juggalos Hitting On Dudes at the Myzery & fOREVERMAN show last week.

This video starts out with Myzery signing an autograph for Mikey Lac.
It then continues with footage of my super-gay homies (BRYNESTEIN, WILDO, & ALFRED) hitting on dudes.
Followed by a short clip of me serenading all 3 of Bonnie's holes.
Concluded by a punch in the cunt.
Enjoy.

Voicemail From My Dad

Google voicemail transcription ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sunday, September 5, 2010

My Trip To The Gathering Of The Juggalos 2010

This is a collection of videos that I shot at The Gathering of The Juggalos 2010.

Me & My Homie Ian (occasionally referred to as "Pissface" or the "The Ref") left for Southern Illinois from New York. As we were driving through Pennsylvania, we stopped at a gas station next door to a porn store & immediately recognized it as the porn store from the videos of our trip to GOTJ in 2007 (viewable HERE), where we met a random juggalo named Bill. We decided to go in & see if Bill still worked there:



Bill wasn't in there, so we just perused the magazine racks, & I wound up buying a 3-pack containing an issue of "Plumpers", some censored vintage Euro-Porn, and an issue of "Swank" with Ron Jeremy on the cover, which was DOPE, because Ron Jeremy was at The Gathering, & I got him to autograph it for me. Evidence at the jump.


Once at The Gathering grounds, we wound up waiting on a long-ass line of cars.
But I wasn't trying to wait to see all my homies, so I went walking around tracking them down.


Mission Accomplished! Homies found!
At the front of the line, I found these MassHoles!


Walking back to the truck, saw this guy in ladies underwear:


Finally made it (snuck?) onto our campsite, set up shop & peeped the scene:


Once those honkies got their giant american flag on lock, it was time to admire the view:


Campsite set up & honkies holding it down, Me and Mark went for a stroll through the grounds, where we found these fools:


And these fools:


And especially, these fools:


Then I went on a Hay Ride with THESE fools:


Back at the campsite, acting like fools ourselves, we offered this random dude a free beer if he dumped a can of dee-licious Faygo Brand Soda-Pop down his pants.
The video should have been longer, but the motherfucker pulled his dick out & i didn't want to put that on YouTube.


At The Honkie Hangout in Scrub Central, we were holding it down, General-Store-Style, with everything you needed: Cold Beer, Blunts, Smokes, Snacks, T-Shirts... The shit was like a 7-11... we even had Hot Dogs yo!


Everyone knows Hot Dogs make you shit your ass, so it was time for a dramatic trip to the sick toilets:


These guys are probably my favorite drunk retards of the weekend.
They were just sitting at a picnic table, serenading girls with stupid little songs about their boobs.
Incredible.


Later on that night, I was sitting at the campsite talking shit with a megaphone, when some fools came up and apparently recorded my shit-talk.
The video showed up in an article on xlr8r.com and many people have been getting their panties in a bunch about it.
All I have to say is that if you don't like my opinions, form your own.


Some folks have been noticing that I seem to have a distaste for the scene, and wondering why I stick around, and bother going to The Gathering even though I don't get booked to perform anymore.
My answer is always "Friends & Memories".
This year was my TENTH year in attendance.
In ten years, I've made some great friends, and we've created a lot of great memories.
The Gathering is the one time of the year we can all get together, catch up, and get stupid.
So when I snagged some stage time at AREA 17,  I only promoted it to the motherfuckers on the campsite, and wound up with a tent full of my favorite folks in the world.


Can we talk about CLUB LOTUS for a minute?
When I heard that most of the Club Chaos crew was not going to GOTJ this year, it was some shocking news. Charlie & them have been holding it down for years. Club Chaos was like an institution.
Rather than let the memory die, SHADOW brought the gear and held it down himself in the same spot Club Chaos usually resides, & rechristened it CLUB LOTUS.
When I say he held it down, he HELD IT DOWN, with live musical performances, debauchery, and of course, WRESTLING:


You may recognize the "referee" in this match as my longtime homie "Ian Face".


After wrestling, me & Face went to get a cheeseburger, or something, and wound up at this infected sinkhole:


A word of advice: 
Never fall asleep with your shoes on.
Not Once, Not Never. Don't Do It.
Here's Why:


Here's another reason:


And possibly the best reason not to pass out at GOTJ:
You might wake up wearing a fOREVERMAN t-shirt like Mr. Voorheez here:


At least Cid had the foresight to take his shoes off, so we woke him up gingerly, with a homo-erotic head-rubbing with my bloody hand.


We are now reaching the end of the Gathering... Monday morning... 
Everyone is packing their shit up, while Brock Lee dances to Nelly Furtado...


And Katy Perry...


And... Uh... Veruca Salt... Of Course...


The end of the Gathering is always marked with hugs, tears.... and garbage.
Mostly garbage.

I left my own personal piece of real estate looking better than I found it.
But this is not my campsite:


Until next year, WHOOP-DEE-DOOP!!


WhoopDeeDoopityDoop!!