Download The Voicemail Album

Click THIS TEXT RIGHT HERE to download "Phoning It In"

This is the non-anticipated follow-up to my most ill-conceived &
disposable album ever.
A collection of sort-of hysterical & very-much scathing &
sloppy-drunken voicemails I received from idiots, dummies, and good
friends.
It also contains 4 "songs" recorded on an iPhone 4-track application.
Two are original compositions. 

One is an MC 900 Foot Jesus cover. 

One is a Lou Reed cover. 

All of them suck.

There is also a brand new, super-abrasive remix of 

"Outskirts of Life", which is awesome. Fuck your ears.
  Plus! A twenty minute interview that originally appeared on the Original
Geeks Podcast last week.

 

Who says failure can't be fun?

Beautiful Melodies

Who the fuck says I'm not a real composer?
Here's a sample of my sheet music.

"Mysogeny in F Major"

10 years ago at a Monkees concert

I wish I still had it in me to be that chubby & greasy.

Murdering My Ladyfriend

These pics were taken like 7 or 8 years ago- just found em in a box.
Thought you might dig it.

Next New England Performance

On April 18th, I will be performing at the 3rd annual BLAZED AND
CONFUSED show, at Tammany Hall in Woostah, Massachusetts, along with
Hy-Town Records, Jason Porter, Dead By Wednesday, Kryptik, Lewn,
Bogus, TNT, Killfuck, Joint Damage, & Bigg Juicy. It's an all ages
show, tickets are 12 bucks.

Googling Myself!

I plugged my own stupid name into a search engine, and google scoured the worlds interwebs for references to myself-
Most of the results were my own official pages, or links to Eric Clapton videos-
but in the midst of that, I found this fucking gem.
It was posted on VampireFreaks, by a local horrorcore rapper that I used to book on my shows, that NEVER drew a single head (aside from his hypeman), can't spit for shit, uses the studio versions of his songs to rap over at shows (with full vocals in the background), claims NYC while living in Nassau County, glorifies rape, and gets the money to press up his albums from his mom.
This kid talks so much shit, he should flush his face down the toilet.

All I'll say about this is: the internet's a small place, and long island is even smaller.

The Accidental Prank Call

Earlier Today, my phone rang.
Random (631) Number.
I answered it.
Some guy says "Yo BJ!".
And I'm like "What?".
And he says "Beeeeee Jaaaaaaaay!?".
And I'm like "Are you trying to give me a blowjob, ya fuckin weirdo?".
So he says to me  "I'm  looking for BJ, and if you ain't him, then I got the wrong number, dick."
So I laughed.
And he hung up.

Barbed Wire 2X4

This is some shitty cameraphone footage of some bloody guy, Beelzebitch, and myself, pummeling Dammit with a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire around 6 or 7 in the morning after a long night at Club Chaos.
Thought you might kind of enjoy it.

My Biggest Fan

This is a conversation with some shithead on AIM.

The Pot Calls The Kettle What?

I get a lot of hatemail, but I was particularly amused by this little gem.
It came from a midwest suburban rapper that added me to his myspace friends list,
who spits about shooting people,
does photo shoots in his moms living room,
lists the Insane Clown Posse and Esham as influences on his profile,
and shamelessly tacked on his faux-blood logo to the end of the message.
He's obviously got a chip on his shoulder, and is in denial of the fact that all the insults he threw at me should have been directed at himself.

Here's the conversation that ensued- Green text is my response, Orange text is his.
We're both assholes, but at least I realize it.